Letting our kids grow up can be hard. Especially for those of us who have autistic children. We just want to protect them from the world, but for all the bad in the world there is a greater good.
Over the last months I have had to learn to let my daughter make more choices on her own. Choices that we all take for granted. Clothing choices, what to spend money on choices, and yes, even friendship choices. I think I was doing good until the last one came about. We had a little crack in the road, but this week seems to be going much better. She is hanging out with an old friend her own age. I know the kids parents and the kid is a very good kid. The heart-warming thing is he is very much like my daughter.
Yesterday my daughter and her friend went to play soccer at a nearby park and she followed all the rules. She was sure to call me when she was supposed to; I was so proud of her. Letting her be a teenager has been hard for me. I guess Mom needs to grow up too. I let her and her friend go to the store by themselves yesterday.
She had her money counted out and knew how much she could spend. She told me how long she would be but yet I still sat by my phone looking out the window as time slowly crept by. Ughhh No one told me this would be this hard! When she goes to her Dads I am always ok and glad to get my much needed alone time. I guess I know that with her Dad she is safe.
Yesterday I had to trust her to make right choices on her own. I know I tell others that you have to make a few wrong choices in order to learn. It’s just so much easier to give adults advice on their life than to follow it when it comes to your child’s.
She came home with of all things a bucket of chicken, that she and her friend could share. I was careful to give her space so not to embarrass her. I stayed in my room as I listened by the door. That counts, right?
She served him food and made him a drink. He said thank you and please. Kinda made me realize she was growing up. I felt proud!
After her friend left she came to confess something to me. OHHH DEAR GOD! What now, I thought. She did not have enough money for her chicken, so the lady at Walmart who works the register gave her two dollars. I did not know what to do. So we got in the car, drove up to Walmart. I gave my daughter two dollars with my number written on a card to give the lady. Yes, I even let her go back in by herself! I did sit in front of the store and wait, though! I need baby steps, Guys!
She came out and said the lady would not take the money but did take my card. I said OK and we drove back home. All I said to her was to make sure in the future that she had enough money to get what she wanted.
Today I got a phone call from the check out lady. She said,” MS. Johnson, this is Heather. your daughter gave me your card. I would not accept the money back from your daughter because I wanted to give it to her. You have a very sweet daughter and I enjoy helping out people who are kind like her. She is a great kid!”
Wow! What a message. Once again, I am proud! This growing up stuff is hard. I think harder on me.
Who knows what next week will bring, but today I celebrate my daughter and how WE are GROWING UP together! Everyone say prayers for me! :O)
Wishing everyone Much Love!